Monday, March 28, 2011

Not quite about scouting...but important

Boy have times changed..This blog posting is not quite about scouting, ok, its not about scouting at all, but it is about one of my children.  C1, my 13yr old, first class Boy Scout. 

It was in the news today about how the social media is affecting our children negatively.  My first thought was 'hogwash'.  But, tonight, I realized, it is effecting my son and I wonder how many other kids it affects.  (I never know if its effect or affect)! 

My son has been very moody lately.  he spends 90% of his time on FB or txting.  (its still cold here in the midwest, to cold and muddy to be outside playing yet)  I realized tonight how much he is being effected by the thoughts and opinions that are bombarding him every waking second of his day. 

I have to admit, I txt and FB all day long too.  But its innocuous stuff.  Comments about my kids or dogs, or the vacuum.  I'm Txting a gf about a funny sign, or does she want to meet for lunch.  We as adults, txt or fb about unimportant stuff. 

Kids are not txting or fbing about stupid unimportant stuff.  Or at least my son isn't .  Its always about drama...and in his world, its major drama.  whose fighting with who, who likes him or who doesn't, who said what about who.  Yes, we had this drama as kids, but when we got off the bus or walked in the front door, it was gone.  It was left behind.  Yes, there were occasional phone calls, but for the most part, it was left behind. 

Not anymore.  Now my son is being bombarded with this stuff every moment he is awake.  This is what is causing the warnings on the news. 

Imagine it like this...Someone in your family is very sick or dying or going through a divorce or whatever.  They are close to you..it is very painful.  And you are talking about it every single moment of your waking day, for days on end.  It will destroy you!  I'm sure many of you have been there, know the feeling, know the pain. 

Imagine your kids doing this, its what they are doing.  In their world, their drama is just as painful, and they are living it every waking moment of the day.  It is destroying them emotionally.

C2, my daughter, 11yo, went to neighbors house to be with her gf's.  She came home after a few minutes.  I asked why, she said cause they were only sitting around texting.  WTF!  All of the girls were in the same room, not talking to eachother, but txting others. 

So much for the art of conversation!  Now my daughter wants a cell phone so she can participate with her gf's while sitting in a room not talking to each other but texting others???? 

I really really think that this is a huge red flag!  IM, Texting, FB.  We have to be very very careful here.  Our children are losing touch with society as a whole.  They are losing the ability to carry on a conversation, they are not learning what should be said, or what should not. They are just saying it.  I have always worked hard on teaching my kids what to say, what not to say, etc etc.  I stand next to them when they are on the phone (when they are younger) and coach them on what to say etc etc. With Txting, IM, FB,  I dont have the ability to help them, to coach them. 

Some people may call this spying...NOPE!  Its teaching!  Ok, maybe a little spying, but how else is he/she going to learn what is right and what is wrong.  If you think that your parents never read your notes, or looked in your diary as a kid, YOU ARE WRONG! 

Just because our kids are not in our hair anymore, they still need us, now more than ever!

Hubby and I discussed this with our son, and have decided to limit his phone and fb time.  We told him it is not because he is in trouble, but because he needs to turn his brain off.  Take some time away from the drama...relax...

I think he understands...I hope he does...I'm sure he will when he becomes a parent........

2 comments:

  1. Have you seen the "Tech Chip". It is similar to the "Totem Chip" (not BSA endorsed though). It taeches them about responsible technology. A troop developed it and I think it is a great idea for teaching the boys the values of technology BUT also teaching them there is a time and place and scouting usually isn't the time or place! Google it. It's a cute lesson and they even designed a card like the Totem Chip.

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  2. This type of thing is what inspired our mini unplugged challenge this week...
    http://fieldsofhether.blogspot.com/2011/04/unplugged-mini-challenge.html

    We are of the same opinion as you.. in this house, to have a facebook account, mom and dad must have your username and password, and be on your friends list.

    This actually came in handy for one of our boys, who texted home from scout camp last year to ask me to login and remove someone from his friends list that was suddenly posting very inappropriate things on his wall - another friend had texted him to ask about the stuff on his wall, he then texted me and asked me to go in and remove it and remove the "friend".

    My neices and nephews all know that their fb statuses go right to our phones as texts.. I think it helps them remember to only post things they don't mind their aunts and uncles reading! :-)

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